Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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