Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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