You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
