dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
