WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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