Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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