The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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