I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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