I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize