so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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