I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
