I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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