The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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