If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Randomize
