i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
