Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Your penis caused this!
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