I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We left the knife in your bed.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
