erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
