What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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