Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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