Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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