So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
