I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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