You're my little dorito
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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