So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
