I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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