if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
