I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
