help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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