She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
