I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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