some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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