In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
