i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
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It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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