if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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