Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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