What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
