it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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