my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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