That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
