Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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