I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
