he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Randomize