He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It all started with a game of naked twister.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
