well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
