I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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