a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Randomize
