So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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