yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
