I wannas sexs uuuuu
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
