Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I believe in your delicious
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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