didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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