i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Randomize
