You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
