Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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