My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
