The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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