i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
