if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
