I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
