Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Last time i carry you out of a forest
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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