As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
