I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
why didn't you poke me back
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
